Forgive the complete lack of book content.
But, here, in several easy steps, is how to have the greatest night EVER!
1. Have a super-busy, under-staffed, generally not-so-awesome day at work.
2. Stop by the fancy-schmancy grocery store on the way home and treat yourself to a nice piece of cheese.
3. Unpack the groceries, leaving those intended for dinner (Which is said nice cheese, some bread, and a pomegranate the size of your face)
4. Make a few phone calls.
5. Go to eat dinner and realize the cheese is missing.
6. Tear the house apart looking for it. Enlist the help of your husband. Don't succeed.
7. Conclude the only logical place for said cheese is in the dogs stomach.
8. Be annoyed the dog ate your dinner.
9. Be TERRIFIED over the fact that in addition to the cheese, the dog ate all the saran wrap and labeling!
10. Shove a bottle of hydrogen peroxide down dog's throat to induce vomiting.
I will skip the next several steps but include these highlights:
15. Find the saran wrap and cheese labeling in a pile of dog vomit and hold it up triumphantly.
16. Have the dog leap up, grab it out of your hand and RE EAT the @$#^%*^%%#^#@$!@$#%^^ Saran wrap.
20. Buy more hydrogen peroxide.
32. Give up and monitor her closely for the next 24 hours.
Yeah. It's been a good day.